3 Truths I learned About Love, Dating and Marriage

At the beginning of the Love, Dating, Marriage series in February, I thought I knew what to expect, i.e my pastor comes with a word from God that breaks my entire furniture, snatches off what’s left of my receding hairline, and I go home thinking about my life. Well, all of these happened, BUT there was more I hadn’t anticipated.

The first week of the series started off with “I’m In Love With Delilah” with a focus on lover boy Samson, who was caught up in a place I kind of know too well (don’t judge me, instead check out Samson and Delilah’s escapades in Judges 16). Samson was in a place of brokenness, hurt and pain, so I could relate when he tried to mask it all up with one activity and the next, and maybe you can too. 

Samson’s story gave the perfect start to the Love, Dating and Marriage series and as the series unfolded, truths that forever changed my life also began to appear. Let’s look at 3 of those truths shortly.

#1 – There is a God-sized void in me and you that only God can fill.

There is a space in our heart that desires a love and satisfaction that only God can give. Humans will be humans, and money, places, positions, and platforms will be there but they’ll never be able to fulfill what only God can be to us. Love starts with setting God right.

Love starts with setting God right.

He invites us into a love story that begins with Him. For God so loved the world…you know that verse right (if you don’t, no pressure, it’s in John 3:16). He so loved us that He gave up His son for us so that we can have a relationship with Him. This is where I got my first lesson, The first relationship you need is a relationship with Jesus. 

But it doesn’t end there.

#2 – Love is more than All we’ve been told

Who knew 1 Corinthians 13 could make me rethink everything I thought I knew about love  after reading it more than 99 times? The second sermon in the LDM series titled “I’m in love with a Jesus Guy” did that.

I got to see how starting the love story with who God is will get us to a place where He begins to change our hearts and reorder our lives. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

The love of Jesus redefines our identity. We who were broken, hurt, rejected, He makes new, redeemed, healed, whole, renewed and transformed. And the story doesn’t end there. Our experience of His love begins to empower us to love in the same way He does.

He lays the foundation, sets the example and provides an empowerment, so we too may express the genuine love of Christ that is more than how we feel but a righteous conviction to be people who are truly kind, patient, gentle and ultimately put Jesus at the center of our love story.

Truthfully, “Jesus as the center” isn’t the popular norm in our society today. For many people, it’s money at the center, while for others sex is the basis of most relationships. To complicate matters, the media seems to know a lot about what we should do with our bodies and what love should look like. Netflix and its inexhaustible love movies seem to know a lot as well but God is the standard.

#3 Hormones shouldn’t be in the lead of a love story

Maybe you and your hormones are in a constant war of arguing who’s in control, or your decision to uphold purity in a relationship is questioned by social media, but if there’s anything I want to leave you with today, it’s that you’ll only fully experience love in all of its beauty as God intended it by obeying God’s truth and following his standard. Trust me, it’s like following the map to fulfilment.  

Watch How to stay holy when you’re horny

Despite the depravity in the world, there’s huge blessing and that undeniable sense of rightness in being a Christian that honors God. There’s still what it means to be a Christian that makes God the standard in how we love people, how we build our careers, how we manage our resources and in our giving. There’s still what it means to put God first, uphold the right values, honor what He honors and live with the right disciplines.

Despite the depravity in the world, there’s huge blessing and that undeniable sense of rightness in being a Christian that honors God.

Here’s one of my favorite scriptures that spells out God’s standard about love, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” Romans 12:1

As I wrap up this, my friend, if there’s anything I’ve learned over these past three weeks (and I hope to always remember), it is that I was made to honor God. I want to be the type of person that would say Delilah might be a good catch but I’m pursuing God.

I want to be the type of person that would say Delilah might be a good catch but I’m pursuing God.

I want to be the type of person who, while being in love with a Jesus guy, makes God the center of our love story. I want to be a Christian that stays holy even when there’s a surge of emotions within me and around me, not by myself, but by the grace of God. Not by my power but Christ working in me to will and to do according to His good purpose.(Philippians 2:13)

I don’t know where you are on your journey, probably ahead of Samson and I, or you’re stuck in knowing what is right and never doing what is right. I will tell you one more thing my pastor said,

‘There is a story of redemption that is pleased to start from where you are. And every single step you take can be towards the path of redemption. The genius of grace is to make You the type of person that will thrive in the beauty of God’s standards and values.’ – Pastor Tolulope Moody

Oluwatofunmi Owoniyi
Tofunmi volunteers with the Content Team at Sycamore Church

(Blogposts are creative expressions generously provided for Sycamore Church. The ideas and thoughts do not necessarily represent the position of Sycamore Church)